Finishing projects feels good

Around the end of December 2013, I came upon a post with pretty pictures of the 33 most beautiful abandoned places in the world. One of those clickbaity list posts, but this one struck a chord. I love the desolate beauty of abandoned things.

And so I decided to write something about all 33, inspired by the pictures but not necessarily relating to the real-world location or function of the place. I had thought I’d finish it all by the end of January 2014, but I didn’t keep at it diligently enough. I had a months-long pause and forgot all about it, but in mid-December I finally kickstarted my project again. And now, I have just finished writing a poem about the 33rd picture.

I didn’t manage to finish this project in the time frame I’d initially set myself, but I did finish in the end! And now I have 33 pieces of flash fiction and poems based on the pictures. Some of them will never make it past the initial draft phase; some of them I’ve already edited and sent off; some of them are rough now but contain interesting kernels of plot and character that might grow into proper stories one day; one of them will be published this year (as “The Ruin” in Luna Station Quarterly). Most excellent.

I’ve discovered that writing prompted by a picture is a good way for me to get my brain jogged into action. Will have to keep finding interesting pictures to leap into and write about. I should keep doing writing exercises of other sorts as often as I can, too – they’re a great way of building up writing muscle.

2014 in review

On 1 January I made a post about my writing in 2013 and my hopes for 2014. I like looking back on the past year at its end, so here we go again.

My writing goals for 2014 were (slightly abridged):

  1. Get a story published!
  2. Get more poems published.
  3. Work on a poetry collection.
  4. Increase writing output – get back into the groove of writing, preferably every day.
  5. Rework Dim Vanities and decide what to do with it (whether to continue editing it smaller-scale, or do a total reboot, or just stick it in the trunk).
  6. Improve my plotting skills.
  7. Finish more stuff and edit previous work to a submittable point.

So, how did I do?

1) I exceeded my goal of getting one story published – I now have three stories out and two forthcoming. I am really proud and happy about this.

2) I got more poems published – nine of them. And to some highly awesome magazines, too. Yay!

3) I haven’t got the poetry collection into a submittable shape yet, but it exists! and it’s looking pretty good. Finishing it up and submitting to potential publishers is one of my goals for (early) 2015.

4) I haven’t managed to write fiction or poetry every day (except during Nanowrimo), but I have increased my writing output, I think. But this is something to work on – writing something creative every day even if it’s just an exercise.

5) Haven’t had the energy to start reworking Dim Vanities or do anything too much with it. However, a couple of weeks ago I got a flash of feeling that made me decide something: DV needs a radical rewrite. It might still not be publishable even after that rewrite, but I’ve got to give this novel one more chance. I still love so many aspects of it – I just need to rewrite the plot and give the characters higher stakes and more emotion. This is, therefore, a project for 2015. (Camp Nanowrimo, perhaps?)

6) I haven’t worked systematically on improving my plotting skills. I’ve been writing more stories, which I think helps, but plotting is definitely still something that I need to work on.

7) I have been trying to finish more things that I start! And I’ve managed to edit at least some first drafts of stories into a submittable point (and sold a couple of them, too – “Chrysopoeia” and “The Ruin”).

***

As for more concrete evidence of my writing in 2014, here’s a list of my publications this year:

POETRY (9 poems)
02/14 “Ninety-Eight” and “City of Stones” in Issue #33 of Chantarelle’s Notebook.
02/14 “Helsinki Love Song” in Wild Violet Magazine.
05/14 “The Alchemist’s Lover” in the “Alchemies” issue of CSHS.
06/14 “Looking-Glass Lover” in Issue #28 of Niteblade, “Looking-Glass Lover” (after my poem).
06/14 “Shrug Charm” in the Spring 2014 issue of Goblin Fruit.
11/14 “Kuura (extract from a Finnish-English dictionary)” in Issue 11 of Stone Telling.
11/14 “Sorrow-stone” in the “Summer Is Dead” issue of Goblin Fruit.
12/14 “Raw Honey” in Strange Horizons. Listen to me reading the poem in the SH December Poetry Podcast.

PROSE (3 stories)
07/14 “Wind Chimes” in 365 tomorrows. Flash fiction.
10/14 “Chrysopoeia” in Issue 9 (Fall 2014) of Quantum Fairy Tales. Short story.
12/14 “Munankuorikehto” (‘Egg-Shell Cradle’) in issue 3/2014 of Spin, the quarterly magazine of the Turku Science Fiction Society (TSFS). The magazine can be ordered from the TSFS webpage. Flash fiction. (in Finnish)

Oh, and rejections? There were many. It’s especially heartening to see some poem or story published that has previously been rejected (many times, even). I don’t really post about my rejections, but of course they happen. A lot. Way more than acceptances. I’ve learned how to deal with them pretty well – I usually don’t take them too personally any more, although getting a rejection is always a disappointment of course.

In addition to this published stuff, I also wrote oodles of poem drafts (I really can’t be bothered to count, there’s so many), several writing exercises with potential for more, one Nanowrimo novel (crapola zero draft, but with definite potential), and some short stories. Oh, and I edited two 10k+ novelettes. NOT BAD.

***

Now, what about the coming year? Here are some writing goals for 2015 (many of them, as you can see, carrying over from last year):

  • Get more stories published.
  • Get more poems published.
  • Revise the ms and submit poetry collection for publication.
  • Start gathering poems together for a speculative poetry collection.
  • Increase writing output – get back into the groove of writing, preferably every day, even if it’s just a short poem or writing exercise.
  • Continue to write more in Finnish. It’s been so great to tap into that part of my writing brain this year, so I want to continue experimenting in my other native language too.
  • Rewrite Dim Vanities entirely. Do this with the help of a proper outline.
  • Improve my plotting skills.
  • Finish more stuff and edit previous work to a submittable point.
  • Submit more stuff, both prose and poetry! Try to submit something at least once a month.

In general, I’m really pleased with how much I’ve written this year and how I’ve improved as a writer. So far it’s been easy for my PhD work to coexist with my writing life – I really hope that state of affairs will continue! And I think it will, if I just make good use of my time.

***

In conclusion: Dear readers, I wish all of you joy and fun writing times in this coming year!

Nanowrimo, Day 19

Awww yisss I’m all caught up with Nanowrimo after an intense 3000-word session just now. And there’s an actual plot now! *gasp* I’ve been grappling with being behind + lack of plot during the past week, both due to being too busy to plan ahead. I was already resigned that this Nanowrimo zero draft would be pure drivel useful only for exploring some of the characters and the world. But now I have part of a plot that may end up being in the actual edited version, too. Yay!

Word count: 32,107/50,000
Beverages enjoyed: A big mug of rooibos tea.
Feeling: So happy about actually having a plot for the rest of the novel! I came up with a Xena-esque adventure plot thing that will make the rest of Nanowrimo go smoothly, I hope. At least there will be a daring prison escape, if nothing else.

On the downside: my back is hating me. Slight muscle ache from yesterday’s dance class + too much sitting and writing today = pain. On the to-do list before bed: some physiotherapy exercises…

Goblin Fruit: Summer Is Dead

Huzzah! New Goblin Fruit!

The newest issue, “Summer Is Dead”, is now available for your reading pleasure.

In it – amongst the other poems which I can’t wait to read (including work by Shweta Narayan, Mari Ness and C.S.E. Cooney!) – is my poem ‘Sorrow-stone’.

This poem has a clear source of inspiration, for once. Sometime in 2013, I was listening to the song Manan unia by the Finnish folk music band Suo. (I’ve translated/language checked the lyrics for their past few albums, for the CD covers.) I was also experiencing strong feelings of frustration on behalf of loved ones who were in pain, and me not being able to help. So, the poem came out.

If you’re interested, here are the lyrics for the song (trad., transl. by me):

*

Through the earth, through Manala,
through all six star-pricked layers of Heaven.

I dream the dreams of Mana:
earth-dreams, tree-dreams.
I am on a dangerous journey, an unknown road,
making my way to the hill of pain.

Pain-mittens on my hands,
pain-shoes on my feet.
I walk on needle-points,
on the blades of swords.

There is a rock on top of the hill of pain,
a hole in the middle of the rock
that collects all our pain.
The rock won’t weep for its pains, its pains.

[Mana, Manala – Kingdom of Death]

*

Nanowrimo, Day 9

Word count: 14,709/50,000
Beverages enjoyed: Delicious Tanzanian black tea, from a proper teacup with a saucer and everything.
Feeling: Drained. SO DRAINED. But also rather deliriously happy.

During the past week, I’ve been struggling with word count and having energy to write. I’ve just been so busy with work that I haven’t had energy/time to write till around midnight, and I haven’t had too many moments where the words would have flowed easily. But today! I had to write a scene where I killed off a character I like, and even though it was horrible and emotional, I just spent the past couple of hours writing like mad. It feels amazing to have written in such a delirium, for the first time this Nano. I hope this will give me the impetus for more writing moments like that!

It’s been ages since I killed off a character in a story. Didn’t remember it could be this intense.

Nanowrimo 2014 is go!

November is here, and Nanowrimo with it! Huzzah!

This year, I was going to have an Outline. A proper outline, with the main plotlines all neat and organised, and the major incidents all plotted out. Aww, self, so optimistic.

Well, suffice it to say that as a) I am more of a pantser than a plotter at the best of times, and b) my October was so full of academic busytimes (fun busytimes! good busytimes! but omg so busy!) – I didn’t have much time or energy to plan in great detail. Yes, I’ve had a lot of stuff about this forest world and had general ideas percolating for a while now. I’ve got some history thought out, and sort of a general plot idea, and some characters. But no detailed outline.

Now it’s Nano time, and I’ve decided, OK, screw it, I’m going the tried and true “just start writing and figure out the plot as you go” route. It’s going well so far! I had a horrible time trying to get started today, but once I got some crap written, I suddenly came up with an idea as to how FMC#1 gets to start on her journey. And now I’ve got Chapter 2 sort of planned, too. Also, I have an idea for an ending! So I think it’ll be all right. I’m hoping to have lots of fun, anyway.

Oh yeah, even though I failed at plot-prepping, I did make a map a while back, though! Check it out (still attached to my drawing board with beautiful masking tape)!

nano map 2014

Mmm, watercolours. I should actually shove the image into Gimp and see about actually indicating places on the map… I don’t want to spoil the pretty picture in real life. 🙂

In conclusion:
Word count: 1681
Beverages enjoyed: A glass of red wine
Feeling: Better than I was when I started today! Oh Nanowrimo, I’d missed you so.

Now for some more novelling. I want to get Chapter 1 done today.

Cosmic meetings

M45 - Pleiadi by Luca Argalia on Flickr, licensed under CC BY 2.0
M45 – Pleiadi by Luca Argalia on Flickr, licensed under CC BY 2.0
I just came home from a really inspiring event. The Finnish literature festival Runokuu (‘poetry month’) organised an evening at the Helsinki Student Theatre, a combination of science, poetry and theatre.

First Syksy Räsänen, a physicist, gave us a brief talk on relativity theory and quantum theory, and the different conceptions of time arising from those theories. Then we retired into an inflatable mini-planetarium brought into the theatre by Ursa, a Finnish astronomy society. My goodness that was awesome – a dark space, like entering a womb we called it, and inside, the starry sky reflected on the curving walls. A Finnish poet Helena Sinervo read some of her poems. Then a representative of Ursa showed us the Big Dipper, Cygnus, Cassiopeia and other constellations, and told us other cool space stuff. We also learned the etymology of the word galaxy – always cool to get the smack-in-the-face reaction of learning a new etymology.

I felt so dizzy, lying down on the floor with my eyes on the circling stars and my mind boggling over the concept of such vast distances and us here on our little planet in the midst of all that emptiness. I felt suspended out of time – we could have been there for hours, for all I knew.

After stargazing within the planetarium, we had time for writing. I wrote some babbly nonsense to get my head into writingspace, but then managed to produce two poem drafts in Finnish, one of them accidentally becoming quite polished.

And then the coolest: actors from the student theatre improv-read our freshly written pieces. Oh, the (good kind of) chills I felt when an actor read my poem! She read it precisely like I’d imagined it could be but it was something even more. I went to thank her afterwards for making my poem so powerful.

Conclusion: I’m feeling more confident with writing poetry in Finnish. What a wonderful feeling after so long of poems in my other heart-language being stunted and clumsy!

Academic and creative

Earlier this week I got great news: I’ve been accepted into the doctoral programme at the University of Turku. I’m incredibly happy I’m getting to do a PhD, as continuing in academia has been my goal ever since I got my MA two years ago. Now it’s going to happen for real: I get to work on Middle English, concentrating on contemporaneous evidence in the form of manuscripts. A fizz of academic creativity is building up in me as I think about all the interesting stuff I’m going to study and do!

I hope that concentrating on academia will also help me with my creative writing. Quite a lot of my poems/stories are inspired by the stuff I come across in my research: history just has so much weird and wonderful detail begging to be elaborated on or twisted into fantasy worlds. And of course, compared to a 9-to-5 job, the self-made schedules of academia will leave a lot more leeway for integrating creative writing with the rest of my life. Yay!

On the other hand, it’s going to be busy. Things always are (with me, at least). So, I’m going to have to teach myself new ways of self-discipline and how to balance academic work with my creative writing. Both are important to me, but I don’t want to become overwhelmed.

Brandi Schillace wrote a really inspiring post related to this topic over at Magical Words. I read this post back in April when it was published, but it’s even more useful now that I know I’ll actually be doing this PhD thing. Brandi has some sound advice for overachievers regardless of whether you’re working in academia or not – a really good read. Being “good enough” is so hard for people like me who tend towards perfectionism, but it’s essential to learn (and re-learn).

This is something I especially want to keep in mind (from the blog post):

Balancing academic, work, and writing life isn’t about roguish daring and a willingness to burn the candle at both ends. It requires re-seeing, a new vision of what balance means.

Starting this autumn, I’ll have to find out what that balance is for me.

‘Shrug Charm’ in Goblin Fruit for your reading pleasure

The Spring 2014 issue of Goblin Fruit is now live! Huzzah!

Read the issue here. It’s full of gorgeous poems – I’m very happy to be amongst such talented company. Wonderful art as always, too. I really love what Paula Friedlander’s done with the bold outlines and lush, 3D colourscapes.

Here’s my poem: ‘Shrug Charm’.

‘Shrug Charm’ was born a couple of years ago when I was working a rather dismal temp job. It was cold in the office and I was glad of the shawl/shrug thing I’d knitted. Sadly, the real-life knitted item is not as magical as in the poem. Then again, it did act as inspiration, it made words happen… so perhaps that yarn does have a magic to it, after all.

(Kinda) Sunday recs

It’s past midnight but I’m still calling this Sunday recs because I haven’t gone to bed yet. Days, this is how they work. I’ve been good and gone to sleep before 1am for the past couple of nights, but it’s not going to happen today. But for a good reason: I’ve spent six hours editing a novelette (start to finish) and didn’t finish till past 11pm, after which I had to make the dinner that I’d neglected making earlier. Only now am I full enough and coming down from the writing high enough to even consider bed.

Anyway, enough babbling. Here’s some fairytale-themed pieces that I’ve enjoyed:

Fitting In by Katrina Robinson (in Enchanted Conversation: A Fairy Tale Magazine): this is a pretty awesome Cinderella poem – from the shoe’s point of view!

The Faerie Tailor by Suzanne J. Willis (in Goldfish Grimm’s Spicy Fiction Sushi): gorgeous flash piece, such lyrical prose.

Recognizing Gabe: un cuento de hadas by Alberto Yáñez (in Strange Horizons): this is such an amazing story! A powerful, beautiful story of a trans kid with a fairy godmother.