“City of Wings and Song” is out!

My story “City of Wings and Song” is out in the newest issue of Lackington’s — Issue 20, a double anniversary issue on the theme of Birds.

The issue is currently available for purchase in ebook form, and I definitely recommend getting it — Lackington’s is impeccably edited and their stories always work in conversation with each other, so it’s a treat reading the entire issue. The stories will all be available online eventually, though!

“A whir of wings, a stir of song. The market is waking.”

In a queernorm world, Talirr enters a city of captive birds; rebellion and the dangerous magic of poetry ensue. I’m really proud of this story, and am especially pleased with my poet protagonist (and that I included poetry within the prose!). I hope you enjoy these birbs.

I’m looking forward to reading all the other stories in this issue! I can already recommend one of them to you: I beta-read Karolina Fedyk‘s story ” A Map to a Future Unlike Any Past”. What a beautiful and melancholy meditation on that fairy tale with the swan brothers.

Cover art by Kat Weaver

Story sale: “City of Wings and Song” to Lackington’s

I’m giddy with happiness to be able to announce that my story “City of Wings and Song” will appear in Lackington’s, one of my dream markets. Lackington’s is an amazing magazine with ever-luminous prose, and I’m honoured to be included among their authors!

My story will be part of the Birds issue, coming out this autumn. Birds aplenty appear in “City of Wings and Song”, a story about freedom and rebellion and poetry.

I’m especially happy about making this sale to a dream market because this is the first story I wrote, this summer, after a long creative drought caused by exhaustion. I hand-wrote the first draft of this baby, and enjoyed it, but I love what it became in revision even more. I hope you enjoy it too, later this autumn! I look forward to seeing what the issue is like as a whole — Lackington’s issues are always wonderfully put together.

A mouthful of microfiction

Cassandra Khaw did a microfiction challenge on Twitter on 31 August 2019, which I decided to try. I hadn’t really written Twitter fiction before, but it was actually an amazing experience — so great that I’ve actually done it again just two weeks after this berry fun (see my Twitter profile).

(It’s very likely some of these berries will appear again in my longer fiction or poetry.)

My original tweet:

Let’s do this. Reply to this and I’ll give you one berry from the bushes growing next to the hedgewitch’s house.

And as people replied requesting berries, I responded. Here they are, those 43 berries, strung together for you in the order I wrote them.

✨ ✨ ✨

This wizened berry is snowflake-small yet it rests heavy in your hand. You take a deep breath and swallow it; it brings you back to childhood winters of hoarfrost and holy silence.

This berry clings to the bush and crouches deep in its thorns. But you persist: nettle-stung, thorn-bitten, you hold the truthberry aloft at last. Keep it in your pocket to warn you when politicians, past paramours and poets are nigh.

The lowest berry falls ripe off its stem—
You catch it with your questing mouth.
You bite–oh! all those years of drowth
Are banished with the juice of this berry-gem.

(This was in verse in response to @HangerbackTalk’s poem “Being a short creature, not one bucket tall,/ I search for the lowest berry of all.”)

You reach for the berry that glows golden in the dusk-light. It dissolves to dust before you can eat it; but when you lick your palm, you gain a memory long vanished into the dusk of days past.

The berry bristles with spikes and spits curses at you as you hold it up. But when you start crooning the lullabies your fathers sang you to sleep with, the spikeberry stops swearing and sings along in eerie harmony.

It looks like a raspberry, but when you bite, blood fills your gullet with its iron tang. You’ve been gifted thirteen more years of life, but the only way to wash away the taste is with five bitter espressos a day.

You arrive in the deep of winter. The berry bush is laden with snow; a single frozen bearberry lingers. In your hands, the berry melts, reddens, burns. You swallow it. With this fire, you’ll live to see the spring.

A sparrow brings you this berry as an offering. Dark as autumn nights, tart as a gooseberry, the braveberry’s taste carries you all the way through that conversation with your mother.

This berry, matcha green, looks too raw to be gorged upon. You hesitate, but the colour beckons: and look, you’re rewarded with a taste fresh as the finest sencha — and the ability to heat water to the perfect temperature for every brew.

A bunch of pearlberries falls onto the dry late-summer grass. The touch of their skin is like frosted glass, welcome in the scorching sun; they rattle in your mouth but settle in your belly. In the coming months, your nightly dreams will bring only peace.

Come, how could you resist reaching up for the berry growing from the highest branch? Up on tiptoes, you twist the honeyberry off its stem. Upon tasting, you sink onto the grass, soft as a queen’s bed. The sweet honeyberry haze stays with you for weeks.

You know which berry to pick: the unassuming wild strawberry. Its juice smears your lips red; it tastes of homesickness, buckwheat honey and the fervent joy of dance, with an aftertaste of cruelty.

This berry is your key to Faerie. Speak a door now, with your enchanted lips.

The abundance of late-summer berries makes your breath catch: all of them different, like variegated jewels in a queen’s crown. As you hesitate, the hedgewitch herself plucks a berry for you. “Noonberry, sweet as summer wine. Save it. You’ll need it when winter comes.”

You follow a wood dove’s flight into the witch’s garden. The bird croons a suggestion, & that was the berry you’d pick anyway: it glows the colour of a ripe mango, promises joy. In your mouth, the hopeberry sings; you see a door in the air. It leads wherever you most wish to go.

The cloudberry rests in your hand, fierce little flame. Eat it, & the crisp taste sweeps you thousands of miles away. You stand amid northern marshland: a field of cloudberries, winking amber in the sunlight. You gasp. You gather them in your skirts to bring to your beloved.

A strange berry among the strange: perfectly round, black as the void. Did it really grow from this bush? The witch assures you it did. They all do. “Don’t eat the spaceberry unless you’re suspended in vacuum,” she cautions.

Good thing you’re an astronaut. The time will come.

In the deep of night the hedgewitch’s garden is dark except where eerie lights flit and waver. In the berry bush, a single berry glows bright; you’re drawn to it as you’re drawn to all things speaking of light and hope. You enclose the starberry in your locket: all will be well.

The windberry chimes as you pluck it: a sound like the ringing of a faery bell. You’re seized with a memory – your sister’s laugh, before she was taken – & in anger you crush the berry in your fist.

And yet the wind speaks to you now. It whispers: “I know where your sister is.”

You bend down, observe the caterpillar: a magnificent beast, orange & fluffy. A berry nestles next to the caterpillar: it too is fluffy, & yellow as sunlight in a child’s drawing. Of course you eat it. It tickles your throat; brings you an orange cloud to explore the skies with.

This berry is big enough to be a fruit; you snap it up in three swift bites. With each swallow, you gain one thing: a deep appreciation for the language of toads; a new connection to a lost love; and a wine cellar full of the finest goblin vintages.

The berry is half-hidden beyond a veil of cobweb, spun onto the bush by an industrious spider. The sticky hands are worth it, though: in this dreamberry, you taste all the cakes you’ve ever partaken of in Morpheus’s lands, and the sweet sorrow of a truelove’s doomed kiss.

Perplexingly, this purplish berry tastes of sea salt. You lick your lips, remembering a summer long gone, the sweet selkie kisses. The hedgewitch casts you a sidelong glance and says: “She misses you, you know.”

This berry has the texture of an old stone. You roll it in your mouth, let the weight of history fill you. When you crack the brittle skin with your teeth, a dizzying sense of time (centuries, millennia) permeates your every cell.

You’re hungry, have been for months now. “Here. Have a luckberry,” the hedgewitch says. You accept her gift; the silver berry bursts, and your mouth fills with sweet nectar — your lips tingle with the promise of luck.

A tiny berry this one, barely a speck between finger and thumb. But what a taste! It spreads onto your tongue like liquid fire and opens you up, a supernova of determination and new possibilities.

A berry blue as a robin’s egg: how could you resist? It falls to pieces in your hands but look, the berry-shards embed themselves in your fingertips. The blue marks disappear eventually, but you will always retain that new gentleness in your touch.

The marrowberry unlocks something in you that has long remained hidden. You make of it an ink, deep blue as serenity is, and begin to write. Your hands are marrowberry-stained; your heart is marrow-strong.

You watch as a bud bursts into flower (rust-red, blood-slick), watch as it bears fruit. The berry falls into your waiting mouth. A manifold texture, seeds crunching in your teeth —

Every seed you swallow is a new story, waiting for your pen to draw it out.

The hovering dragonflies caught your eye, but the treasure they guard is even more enticing: a thistle-coloured bulbous thing the size of a blackberry. Snatching the calmberry into your mouth, you are filled with a simple, deep contentment that lasts for weeks.

This berry glimmers like copper filament. How could you eat such a glorious thing? At home, you place it on your windowsill to dry. Every night thenceforth, you dream of fey lands till your heart desiccates to a husk, just like the amuletberry you couldn’t bear to swallow.

It’s never too late for berries in the hedgewitch’s garden: here’s a bright berry calling your name. Its skin feels… like human skin, but this only disturbs you for a moment. After gulping down the berry’s bitter juice, you gain a lifelong, glowing determination.

The first snow has fallen, but roses still bloom on the hedgewitch’s bushes. And among them: a rosehip the colour of autumn sunlight mingled with heart’s blood.

You swallow it whole. This inner bloodsun keeps your soul warm and resilient when you most feel like giving up.

Rain batters the bushes, tears leaves off the branches. Soaked wet, you seek solace from the taste of the garden’s bounty. The fairberry heats you from the inside out, like a steaming mug of tea – and the witch invites you in, out of the downpour.

Listen: the days grow longer, everything should merely be budding and blooming – but the berry bush is already laden with fruit. You can’t resist: you pluck a ripe raspberry in rainbow hues. The taste takes you, for a full minute, back to the faerie dance you barely left alive.

The timeberry is intricate as clockwork, yet soft in your pointed teeth. You tear it to pieces in seconds, hungry for control – but in your belly, a deep realisation: what you’ve been given instead is peace. A sense of abundance.

It’s lingonberry-red, but the taste has the spicy comfort of mulled wine. Beware faerie fruit, your mother always said; you’re lucky hedgewitch berries are more benign. This joyberry heightens all the wonders of the world: pattering rain, purring cats, friends’ laughter.

The moonberry, silver in the half-dark, shakes shimmery dust everywhere when you pluck it. Reverently, you place it in the embroidered pocket where you keep other sacred things: a raven’s feather, your firstborn’s first tears. The moonberry will shelter you from night dangers.

This berry shimmers like an oil slick, is slick to the touch like a sealskin. Slick, like the sealskin your partner has hidden away. Grief pummels you; you chew the compassberry, numb.

Swallow. And then it tugs within you: the location of your sealskin. You gasp. You run.

First-frost outlines the grass in white. Fingers numb with cold, you pick a coral-pink crownberry & vow, thrice, that you will be king before the year is done.

Cruel crownberry: king you are, but king merely of your own hearth. Yet that too fills you with strange satisfaction.

You’ve had a craving for bilberries for weeks now. And here, incongruous on this bush: a single bilberry, blue as ink. It bursts on your tongue and you gasp – for before your eyes, the other thing you’ve had a craving for appears.

“My love,” you say, & enfold him in your arms.

Fallen, mulched berries form a feast for the bees. You let them buzz and fuss around you and reach for a berry still clinging to the bush: black-&-yellow, blobbish. It tastes of honey & long summers – & now you hear curious voices all around. You’ve gained the language of bees.

The swiftberry is a pea-sized vortex, & it’s exactly what you were looking for. The world too much, everything too much, you just need to be a little faster yourself – a little more, yourself. You gulp it down without chewing.

What you get is swiftness of imagination, instead.

The hedgewitch’s garden is misty just before dawn. Beauty all around – unbearable, when your mind’s monsters lurk close. Yet one berry on that overcrowded bush seems tolerable: a plain blackcurrant.

What you don’t realise is: it’s a lifeberry. Slowly, it’ll bring you back.

✨ ✨ ✨

And here is a lovely surprise my friend Laura (@UusitaloLaura on Twitter) wrote for me after I was done with my berries:

The last berry is yours alone. It glows beautiful warm red, beaconing to you. When you bite it, you gasp, overwhelmed by the joy of all the people gifted the hedgewitch’s berries.

The berry leaves you with a warm glow that will carry you through the bad word days to come.

✨ ✨ ✨

My Worldcon programme

First blog post on the new website – yay!

Worldcon starts on Thursday, and I’ll be flying to Dublin tomorrow morning. This will be my second Worldcon – Helsinki in 2017 was the first – and I’m incredibly excited to be going. I will be in social mode throughout the con, so please come and say hi!

In addition to tons of socialising with awesome people, I will be on the following two panels, both on topics I’m looking forward to talking about:

Once again upon a time: modern fairy tales 
16 Aug 2019, Friday 15:00 – 15:50, Liffey Hall-2 (CCD)

Fairy tales have an abiding allure, and successive generations of writers have taken these traditional themes and tropes and reshaped them for a modern audience. Sometimes the setting is changed but the roots of the story remain; sometimes authors use the reader’s familiarity with a tale to subvert expectations. Why is it that fairy tales lend themselves so well to repetition? In what ways are modern authors shaping fairy tale tropes? The panel will examine the popularity of fairy tales through the lens of modern retellings.

Miss Lucy Hounsom (M), E. Lily Yu, Mari Ness, Sara Norja, Jean Bürlesk

*

‘The road goes ever on and on’: poetry within SFF
19 Aug 2019, Monday 12:00 – 12:50, Wicklow Room-4 (CCD)

Many works of speculative fiction include verse within the story. What purpose does poetry serve in SFF stories? When is it successful, and when does it distract from the story? The panel will discuss SFF poetry written for prose stories, its place in the wider world of poetry, and its purpose within a narrative tale.

Steven Erikson, Sara Norja (M), Karolina Fedyk, Rie Sheridan Rose

Award eligibility & 2018 in review

I had one piece out in 2018. My short story “Birch Daughter”, appeared in Fireside Magazine in November (and was included in the October issue of Fireside Quarterly): it’s eligible for your consideration.

Read “Birch Daughter” here!

My father told me that the spell was too strong to break, that I should never trust the forest-folk. But the thought of my mother trapped within a gnarled birch tree in the far north was too much for me to bear. I had to go, even just to see her.

This story is inspired by Finnish folklore; it features forests, bears, and queer women. It’s the only thing I had published this year, and I’m very proud of it.

* * *

This is also a good time to reflect a bit on 2018 in terms of my writing. I used to do rather detailed year-in-review posts, outlining writing goals for the next year, &c. I think, this time, I’ll keep the writing goals within my bullet journal and just reflect more generally on this year.

My main goal for 2018 was to finish novel revisions and to start querying agents. Well: I did that, although due to mental health issues, I was not able to get properly into querying. A lot of my other goals, I did not really succeed at — but the problem was, my goals were too ambitious and I also didn’t realise, at the end of 2017, how rough 2018 was going to be.

But all in all, the main thing is: I kept writing. I took a bit of a break in the summer, when I was healing my poor brain, but I returned to writing again when it felt good. (Writing longhand in a nice notebook, outside in the warmth of the summer sun. I wrote a whole story longhand for the first time in years.) And after that, writing has felt good. After my healing beak, I’ve written a couple of short stories and a Nanowrimo novel draft, and am finding joy in writing. Really, that’s what matters.

In 2019, I hope above all to be more gentle to myself in terms of writing goals and ambitions. I’m working on a PhD; I have anxiety issues; I need to look after myself and stay clear of too much perfectionism and achieverism.

I’ll end with by quoting myself from last year’s year-in-review post:

No matter what, I will keep writing words of hope and kindness in the face of hardship.

Quick Sips review of “Birch Daughter”

The awesome Charles Payseur wrote a wonderful review of my story “Birch Daughter” (he also reviews other great Fireside stories in that post):
 
“Sweet and with a great sense of magic sweeping over the setting, the piece is quiet but resilient, full of a will to reach an ending full of warmth, comfort, and love.”
 
I really appreciate Charles’s reviews, so it means a lot to me to see that he truly understood my story, and found levels in it that I didn’t even anticipate. I mean:
 
“It’s a story that almost seems easy until you think about it. Until you realize just how hard it is and just how much the characters are risking. And yet their certainty is contagious, their hope infectious in all the best of ways.”
 
I love love love seeing this kind of responses to my work. Thank you, Charles. 

Fireside Quarterly!

I received my contributor copy of Fireside Quarterly already a couple of weeks ago, but life has been so busy I’m only blogging about this now. But isn’t this magazine beautiful! Such great design. Some stories, including mine, have a fold-out of the illustration, which is super cool.

Of course, Fireside Quarterly is also full of excellent stories and nonfiction. I’m so proud I have a story in this gorgeous print magazine in addition to the online version! And how amazing is it that Satu Kettunen’s illustration for my story is on the cover <3

***

In other news: I was quiet about it, but I did Nanowrimo again this year, and completed the zero draft of a new space opera novel. I’m excited to start revising the novel sometime next spring when it’s had enough time to rest!

“Birch Daughter” out in Fireside!

Tuesday was a happy day — my story “Birch Daughter” appeared in the wondrous Fireside Magazine.

You can read “Birch Daughter” here!

If you like Finnish-inspired folklore, forests, bears, and queer women, this one’s for you. Fireside describes it as “a magical short story about where the search for heart and home takes us”.

My father told me that the spell was too strong to break, that I should never trust the forest-folk. But the thought of my mother trapped within a gnarled birch tree in the far north was too much for me to bear.

“Birch Daughter” is set in the same ‘verse as my poems Raw Honey and Wolf Daughter (both published in Strange Horizons). I get a very specific pleasure from spinning my Finnish heritage into stories in English.

Also, isn’t the illustration amazing? It’s by the Finnish artist Satu Kettunen; I love it so much. Satu really managed to capture the atmosphere of my story and incorporated lovely details in the artwork. Having such amazing art for my story is a dizzying thing!

Finncon 2018 programme

It’s… been quite a year, to put it mildly. I have been utterly neglecting this blog in favour of Twitter, even though a lot of things have been going on (such as finishing a novel and starting agent submissions… and also mental health shenanigans that have made it harder to post). I don’t have the energy for writing a recap, either.

However! The Finnish SFF Finncon will be held in Turku in a week and a half, and I will be participating in some programme items! You can find me at the following:

Sat 14 Jul, 14-14.45: Minne menet, genre? (paneeli spefin nykytilasta ja trendeistä) (in Finnish, obvs) [NB: edited time change; was previously at 11, now at 14]

Sun 15 Jul, 14-14.45: A beginner’s guide to story submissions in international SFF (lecture by meeee; basically will talk about things I would’ve found useful when starting to submit stories/poems)

Sun 15 Jul, 15-15.45: Left Hand of Darkness, and beyond (panel on gender, sexuality and language in SFF)

Will of course be at the con otherwise as well. Do come and say hi if you recognise me 🙂

Award eligibility and year in review

I didn’t have much published this year, but here are my award-eligible works from 2017, one short story and four poems:

Short story:
07/2017 “Don’t Look a Wish Horse in the Mouth” in Cosmos Pen, the English special issue of Finnish SFF magazine Kosmoskynä. Short story, 2065 words.
— This is a bit hard to get hold of since it’s in a Finnish print magazine, but I’m happy to provide anyone who asks with a digital copy of my story.

Poetry:
01/2017 “The Queen, After” in Through the Gate.

08/2017 “Sunharvest Triptych” in the anthology Sunvault: Stories of Solarpunk & Eco-Speculation, edited by Phoebe Wagner and Brontë Wieland.

10/2017 “Artemis–” in Issue 1 of Blossomry.

10/2017 “When They Belittle Your Nature” in Issue 1 of Blossomry.

The poems are all eligible for the short poem category of the Rhysling Award.

***

YEAR IN REVIEW

My writing goals for 2017 were:

  • Finish revising novel; get everything in shape for submission and start submitting it to literary agents.
  • Get back to the poetry collection thing; revise the collection, try to get the ms in shape and submitted.
  • Write more short stories.
  • Get back into the poetry habit.
  • Submit more poetry and stories.
  • Look over previous Nanowrimo novels, make plans for the potentials (rework as novel / condense into novella or novelette).
  • Have fun with writing. Play with it too.
  • Don’t compare yourself to other writers in the bad way. We all have different paths.

Well. Ambitious goals, considering I’m also working on a PhD, and this year was difficult in many other ways too. I obviously didn’t succeed with all of my writing goals, thus.

However: the novel is almost entirely revised to be the best I can make it. I’ve worked on it a lot this year: most of my writing hours were spent on it, which is partly why I’ve not succeeded so well at the other goals. Writing a novel is a long slog, and takes a lot of energy and time. But the time I’ve spent on the novel has paid off: the novel is at the polishing stage, and – importantly – I still love it. I’m looking forward to finishing it in early 2018.

I did not have the energy/time to start submitting the novel to agents, or even to properly start doing my agent research. But that is something that I don’t want to rush: the novel has to be good first.

Re the poetry collection mentioned in my goals: I did basically nothing to it because the novel gobbled up my time/energy. I will eventually try to do stuff to it, though.

I didn’t write many short stories – again, because of the novel. BUT I did complete one new short story, wrote part of another (should get back to it!), and am almost done with a third.

I did not get back into the poetry habit, sadly. I wrote 13 poems, most of which are just short things and not too many of them good. I’d like to get more poetry written: should do some poetry exercises in the new year.

I didn’t submit that much stuff in 2017. 17 poetry subs (14 rejections, 2 acceptances, 1 pending), and 12 story subs (11 rejections, 1 joyous acceptance to Fireside). I have no stories out on sub right now: should try to fix that soon. And also write more stories!

I did not have time to do anything about my previous Nanowrimo novels – but I wrote a new one instead in November. It’s not very good, but it’s proof that I can still plonk out 50,000 words in a month.

As for my final goals for 2017: I haven’t played around as much with writing as I’d have wanted, mostly – again – because I’ve been busy with the novel. But I have managed to compare myself less with other writers. I’ve been so damn busy with work and other life things that it’s a wonder I managed to get through 2017.

Every creative word written is a win, especially when you’re working on a PhD. Really, I’ve done a lot this year even though the brainweasels tell me it’s not enough. My novel is almost submittable – I’ve done some other creative writing on the side – and even though I haven’t submitted much stuff, I submitted something. I kept going, kept writing.

***

My writing goals for 2018, then:

  • Finish novel revisions; send it out to agents. Revise again as needed.
  • Do something about the poetry collection.
  • Look over previous Nanowrimo novels, make plans for the potentials (rework as novel / condense into novella or novelette).
  • Write for yourself – write amazingly self-indulgent things that make your heart sing.
  • Make time for writing. Don’t shuffle writing to the bottom of the priority list.
  • But also: be gentle to yourself and accept that your pace will be slower because of all your other commitments.

Happy New Year, dear readers. I hope it’s a better year, a happier year, a more hopeful year. No matter what, I will keep writing words of hope and kindness in the face of hardship.